We recently had a discussion in our fellowship about the topic of a short term mission trip for one of our 18 year old kids. I opined that I was completely against it but we had not the time to discuss the motivation for my negativity. I was asked by a half a dozen or so people to explain, and I said I would blog my response so I didnt have to repeat it several times. I will do so soon.
Sincerely
J.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"I LOVE YOU"
Try this.
Instead of arrogantly stating "I love you" to a dear one (which is quite a presumptuous statement if you think about it.)
Ask them: "Do I love you?" and listen to the answer with humility and believe them.
The object of your 'love' has a much better idea whether or not you are truly loving them than you do!
When you hold a job you dont write your own evaluation. Your boss does it: "He is late, lazy, and is fairly mediocre in performance." Although you are likely to quip: "I love my job!"
Let someone else write your evaluation on the status of your love!
So often when we say "I Love you" the reality of that statement is "I possess a benevolent warm happy feeling towards you" It is a statement about you, not actuality.
It would be like a person saying "I hate Beethoven"- this would most likely be a statement about the person saying it rather than it would be about the real nature and quality of Beethoven's music.
It is not practically speaking accurate.
Try it:
Ask, don't tell! And you might find the real answer.
Instead of arrogantly stating "I love you" to a dear one (which is quite a presumptuous statement if you think about it.)
Ask them: "Do I love you?" and listen to the answer with humility and believe them.
The object of your 'love' has a much better idea whether or not you are truly loving them than you do!
When you hold a job you dont write your own evaluation. Your boss does it: "He is late, lazy, and is fairly mediocre in performance." Although you are likely to quip: "I love my job!"
Let someone else write your evaluation on the status of your love!
So often when we say "I Love you" the reality of that statement is "I possess a benevolent warm happy feeling towards you" It is a statement about you, not actuality.
It would be like a person saying "I hate Beethoven"- this would most likely be a statement about the person saying it rather than it would be about the real nature and quality of Beethoven's music.
It is not practically speaking accurate.
Try it:
Ask, don't tell! And you might find the real answer.
Discerning what is important in your life...
I have often observed people make claims about certain things that are important to them in the course of life.
I also have a list of things that I deem significant to my own existence.
You have certain things that you consider important in your own life.
I will offer two suggestions for telling if the claims are true.
1. What you TALK ABOUT is what is important to you!
People (you and me as well) talk frequently about what is important to us!
I would say this is a universal truth and a superb litmus test for determination of what REALLY matters to a given person. Consider this: if you encounter a dog lover, you cannot get them to shut up about the stupid mutt. (Please don't be offended, I love dogs, and have two pound puppies!) If you come across a grandma, you will be subject to a litany of photos and stories of the 'little darlings'. Be careful, what you talk about betrays what is truly paramount in your life and you cannot avoid this indictment. Of course, I am not talking about lip service, because it is easy enough to promote that you care for a certain topic. I am referring to the time when your guard is down, when you are not trying so hard to impress someone. Your casual speak reveals your heart, not your practiced speeches.
2. What you MAKE SURE HAPPENS, is important to you!
Exercise addicts do not fail to hit the gym. Avid photographers never miss an opportunity to capture an event on film. Yet, one frequently encounters people who claim a certain thing is central to his or her existence, however they fail to ensure its happening. "I love God" but I do not pray regularly, or read my bible. It becomes obvious at that point that God is not that important to you because you probably never miss an episode of American Idol- and if you do, you surely tivo it to watch later! What you make sure happens is important to you, plain and simple.
There it is, two easy ways to evaluate what is really important to you and others.
And remember, you can use this yardstick to condemn others and deceive yourself!
-J.
I also have a list of things that I deem significant to my own existence.
You have certain things that you consider important in your own life.
I will offer two suggestions for telling if the claims are true.
1. What you TALK ABOUT is what is important to you!
People (you and me as well) talk frequently about what is important to us!
I would say this is a universal truth and a superb litmus test for determination of what REALLY matters to a given person. Consider this: if you encounter a dog lover, you cannot get them to shut up about the stupid mutt. (Please don't be offended, I love dogs, and have two pound puppies!) If you come across a grandma, you will be subject to a litany of photos and stories of the 'little darlings'. Be careful, what you talk about betrays what is truly paramount in your life and you cannot avoid this indictment. Of course, I am not talking about lip service, because it is easy enough to promote that you care for a certain topic. I am referring to the time when your guard is down, when you are not trying so hard to impress someone. Your casual speak reveals your heart, not your practiced speeches.
2. What you MAKE SURE HAPPENS, is important to you!
Exercise addicts do not fail to hit the gym. Avid photographers never miss an opportunity to capture an event on film. Yet, one frequently encounters people who claim a certain thing is central to his or her existence, however they fail to ensure its happening. "I love God" but I do not pray regularly, or read my bible. It becomes obvious at that point that God is not that important to you because you probably never miss an episode of American Idol- and if you do, you surely tivo it to watch later! What you make sure happens is important to you, plain and simple.
There it is, two easy ways to evaluate what is really important to you and others.
And remember, you can use this yardstick to condemn others and deceive yourself!
-J.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)